by: Joel Villaraza

I made a distant call to my friend who was thousands of miles away. We never heard from each other in months either by letter or by phone. She was surprised and yet excited to hear my voice. The first word she spoke was my name and then she asked where I was. She realized that I was not somewhere near the country but she was thankful that I made the call. I could sense the warmth in her voice and the joy of hearing from me. She kept on talking about what happened with her during the day when she was away from work and the time she spent with her friends. At the back of my mind I was thinking of words to break it to her. "Should I say it now or later? How should I say the words gently in a way that will be easier for her?" Her voice was so kind and breaking her heart would be unthinkable. My mind was struggling. "I have to say it now and get over it." On the other hand, something was holding me back. "I can't do this to her, not this time - not on this day."  It wasn't easy. It was tearing my mind apart.

"You know I've always loved and cared about you. I had fond memories of you through the years we've known each other. We shared many things which we like and dislike. We enjoyed going to different places. However, we also had our ups and downs. We had our joys and pains." I was hesitant but I had to say it, I could feel the stress building in me. I was searching for words.

"It is not the same anymore. After many months when we were not hearing from each other, something had happened. I always wish it would be the same but it's not. There were days when I failed to write and then your letter would also stop coming. I would call you over the phone but you wouldn't do the same. No letters, no phone calls either."

"I am in a place far away where a person like me can be really homesick. Out here, it is easy to get sad. The place and people are different. People can be cold and unfriendly. They are always busy and friends would be hard to find. In that span of time when we were out of touch, I was dejected. I thought you already gave up. Then someone came along and we became acquainted. I can relate to her and she can relate to me."

I gathered enough strength and then I dropped the bomb. "Sorry babe, distance had separated us. It kept us apart. Distance had made it difficult for us to sustain our relationship. I thought you and I are no longer meant for each other."

"No longer meant for each other? What are you talking about?" She was shocked and could not believe what she just heard. "You promised me that you are going to love and care about me. Now what happened? I can't believe I am hearing this from you! We traveled together in your town many years ago and do you still remember the place and the words you swore to me? Her voice was beginning to break up and I could sense tears coming from her eyes. "In that place, you promised to care and love me. In return, I gave my heart to you. Right in front of that church, you made your oath. In that place, you said those words to me!" She began to cry inconsolably. She hung up and then the phone died.

After many years of being away since my last phone call to my friend, I made a visit to our town.  I walked by my distant grandparents ancestral home. The house has improved a lot. It is not the same as it was when my friend and I saw it. The wooden structure that was old and worn out is gone. The exterior is now neatly repaired and beautifully painted. Everything seems to be new. The old house is restored to its old glory.  I walked up the flight of stairs that led me to the statue of a great hero. He's been steadily standing out there - unwavering. He seemed forever observing the town with a concealed smile and curious look on his face. Next to him is a garden where trees and ornamental plants have been growing. When I was a child, the place was a playground where I used to hang around and play with my friends. Across the street is statue of a soldier who is dressed in blue with a pistol held in his hand. He's unchanged and in need of new layer of blue paint on his outfit.

I walked further down the street, I noticed the old church is still the same. Nothing has really changed since I first saw it as a child. The bell tower is still towering above all other structures. Beside it, built half the tower's height is a roof covered balcony. It's like an elevated viewing deck where my friends and I used to go up at times to peek at the town plaza. The main building of the church seems forever unmoved with a number of huge buttresses sticking on its side. The supporting structure is faithfully holding up the old church even to this day.

In front of the old church is a circular concrete bench around a tree where my friend and I sat together. My mind is going back in time. This is the place where I will always remember. On the bench, in front of the church entrance, I held her hand and looked closely in her eye where I promised to love her. I vowed to care and protect her. In return, she promised to be faithful even when she and I were apart from each other. But that was many years ago of past I left behind. My friend is now gone. I did not hear anything from her since the time she hung up the phone.

I snapped out of it. I was deep in thought and almost unaware of things happening around me. I found myself standing where my memory took me. I moved my eyes and noticed a woman playing with a child around the circular bench. They were running in circles. The child was giggling and enjoying every moment of it. Inside of me someone seemed to be saying, "You got to let go. Forget about the past, leave your memory behind. Look at them, they are your world already. See how happy they are. Let it go...... . . Let go........ . ."

I took the child and carried him with my arms. My baby smiled and seemed happy to see me. I walked over to my wife and then hugged and kissed her on the cheeks. My wife gently asked, "Where have you been sweetheart? You seem to be half away around the globe. You are not with yourself lately. Your thoughts are far away. Are you okay?" I embraced her once again. "I love you dear. I didn't go anywhere. I am always here by your side."
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"Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you labored under the sun." (Ecclesiastes 9:9)